Dear TT,

I don't have answers for you or for anyone.

There are prophesies and there are tales, there are myths and there are truths to life that well, we don't really know the truth till the truth stares us in between our eyes; like the barrel of a loaded gun. We stand shaking.

There aren't answers to anything really; just moments of persistence that lead us into another moment of persistence and so on and so forth. Always moving ahead; forward.

Its not measured by gain or loss but by momentum and also more importantly not repeating what was so painfully made clear and aware.

Life isn't measured by the child you bear, the amount of zeros you have after a set number in your bank account (thank god for that) and well, not measured by the partner on your arm.

Life isn't measured.

Its not a "goal"

Its an existence. A way to be.

Life is that gleam truly inspired people radiate regardless of challenge, regardless of loss, regardless of what's been dumped, its this radiating sense of something more important more grand that.... well, nourishes a spring deep within them that quenches their thirst shall they lose sight of the well they were originally getting their waters from.

" I want to be that " " I want to know that " " I want to move through this world with grace "

Its about having a faith... even during the darkest part of your soul-life. Being truly aware that the bad isnt necessarily bad but just the dark side of the moon. One side reflecting the light of the heavens.... one side reflecting the depth and darkness where all emerges from. ITS STILL THE MOON. neither side is bad or good but part of its existence. There is great beauty in both. I wish and one of my hopes for humanity is to know the beauty in both.

You say you have trouble distinguishing truth from falsehood. Well, truth is about goodness. Goodness does not always necessarily "feel good" Goodness has to do with how much honor you have for self, the life you carry. When you don't really know up from down, right from wrong, truth and games.... well..... put it into perspective of having a daughter. Have your daughter approach you with the same exact scenarios that you are in and being that integral....objective.... experienced parent. You are your child's witness and you are their role-model whether they detest you or not.

What are you going to tell them?

Sure, honey...run in circles till you vomit... you'll keep your figure at least.... and... well, you can "hope" for change. But keep that wheel greased dear..... and run run run.... you dear lil'hamster.

FUCK THAT!

Throw the FUCKIN WHEEL OUT THE DAMN FUCKIN WINDOW AND BE DONE WITH IT! .... CLIMB OUT OF YOUR GLASS BOX AND REALIZE THERE IS MORE MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE.

FUCKIN HAMSTERS I TELL YA.... mine was drunk for a period of time it seemed... real sloppy bastard.

Its a good thing.... life doesn't have me as a mom... I feel sorry for my kid really I do. God give that kid strength... seriously...

Look, let me be your lighthouse and you be mine. We'll both help each other to shores we need to touch. I was lost.... so many times and you brought me to life again. Let me be your lighthouse and Ill help you find the way out of here....and you'll help me find my way back home again. But you gotta keep burning. You need that fire to reflect.... regardless of how hard the waves may crash against your feet nor how hard the gails thresh your back.... keep that light shining out to sea... otherwise I can't see.

I want to know how it feels to believe.
I want to feel what it feels to be free.
I want to know that my lighthouse is shining fiercely.

I can only hope that the light I shine you see too. Its dark out there... but one spark and darkness is eliminated. Brought to life again by a mere flicker. Light dancing off the ocean to you. Ill help you find the way out of here. You're not almost gone and you're not drifting away. Let me be your lighthouse and Ill help you find a way out.

Pain passes. Emotions pass. We all know this to be true. WE ALL KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE. WE are left searching everywhere... but just rest easy. Doesn't mean you or I are weak. Just means some things require more patience then others.

You fight I fight, You shine I shine. You stretch I stretch. We already know this law of life well. You wish for more... I wish for more. You choose for heart I will choose for heart. You clear I clear. COME ON .... LETS GO.... keep it going. Keep it moving. This is what we can do.

Like I Said... PUNCH OUT THAT FUZZ BALL OF A HAMSTER/EGO and shake him till all the stupid nutz its shoved into its cheeks....come flying out.... SHAKE IT it and ask for what??? spinning for what? and to where?.....

Do you think darkness feels alone?
For the moment. I am darkness' companion... understanding the winter of my life. Resting on the dark side of the moon.... I want to see where the universe emerges from. Where is the dawn the universe sees.... like the dawn I see born from the ocean here on earth. I want to know how it feels to believe. But to know that... I need to sit on the otherside. I want to know what it means to be free.... to know that... I know... its your love that saves me.

I love you TT... but ya gotta believe. You need to believe in something more. sit in the rose garden... I can feel the spring flowers there... I can smell them too....from here... I know they need a human touch... go visit them. Go feed the ducks at beaver dam... better yet... Go see dawn on the ocean.

There is too much in life that can be missed if we choose to side with our pains and sufferings. Watch how nature moves and move with it. You're a dancer.... let nature lead on this one.

Anurati,
Pie.

It is known that most star light that we see... are stars that no longer exist materially but their light that they once shone selflessly still beams through space infinitely. To exist beyond material is what they demonstrate, to exist may mean more than just the two poles of life and death.

Thanks, For life. :)

I guess, this trains us in experiencing the best of everything. ('This' meaning Life....this Life)

Let me say that again... the best of everything.

How could we ever embrace new things if we're unwilling to let go of the old things, albeit bad or good.

Throw a ball to a dog... have them run back.... ball in mouth... show the dog the other ball and they may still not let go of the ball in mouth... put ball on ground... dog at times tries to get both balls in mouth knowing out right... it AINT GUNNA WORK. hehehe...

Even the good things we need to drop so something equally or better finds you.

But, to be blessed knowing who we know and the time we spend with them. Whether its years or hours. Pulling from it:

THE BEST OF EVERYTHING.

if you sit there wondering the past... or anxious to the future... you'll never see the beauty right before you.

To take that time out and sit and span your grand vista you will see the fog disappear just long enough to see all and then in your heart hold that image.

I Think the heart is the only thing with infinite nooks and crannies to continuously document one's life, experiences, people, things, moments.

If the mind holds onto this stuff... it gets Overloaded. Burned out. Burdened.... and can feel defeated at times.

Great people come and go.
Crappy people come and go.

Each carrying to give you something or for you to give them.

The path you are on. The Seeker is inherent in all. Do you wish to know the seeker? If you do... then you find yourself immersed into a burly, saturated in colors, crisp and richly abundant path.

If we think too much, we get obsessed with the process and forget the very experience loaded with insight.

We posses choice. We own nothing really. I cannot emphasize enough it matters not what you make, what car you drive, what home you live in or the kind of clothes you wear..... what matters; what truly matters, is can you meet the person in front of you eye to eye smile and touch them at a depth they themselves were not aware existed. They need not be a lover, partner, sister, brother, mother, father.... just another human.

But its important to practice the art of non-attachment. The beauty of touching depth.... one wants that 'particular same' experience again and again... but let it go.... await the new depth becoming available to you and that person/group; trust a new level emerging. Whos to say that it wont be more... mind-blowing...even morewhole then before.

If its these kinds of conversations you seek...., create them.
Engage others to that which you miss.
Give the world that which you wish badly for yourself
and see a new kind of something come forth from it.

Sometimes I wonder what it means to live "simply" whether its more of a state of mind or whether its about external simplicity. 

What I realize is that its not even a state of mind. Soul is not MIND. mind is only the communicative switchboard for the soul to express itself. Simplicity is realized when SOUL is realized. 

Soul requires nothing but LOVE. and I don't mean the gushy-mushy. Love as in the "respect" and "honor" and "compassion" involved in living. But living for ALL THINGS. not living just for self.

When you live for self and just your own existence things get crazy, and scary and well, NOT SIMPLE. 

When you realize how connected you are to all things and that friends depend on you to be YOU and you depend on friends for them to be THEM you only want respect then all things flow. It truly is ABOUT YOU and how you RESPOND TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU THAT CREATES THE WORLD. 

Why haven't people realized this? or more importantly Why don't people WANT this.

Our ego is just a force
just as truth is 
just as creation is 
just as hate is 
just as love is

a force. 

"We are governed by the rule that one thing leads to another. Why try and hold on when we can never get a hold on. Thats like trying to put the Ocean in a Papercup" ~A.D.

The beauty of a human being is that... ALL forces come through us. We do not become it. It has no ownership over us. We just allow it to freely move through us... well thats the idea at least, I think. Yet, we have been trained traditionally and culturally to: believe what I feel... I AM.. the whole "how are you feeling?" I FEEL.... I AM... The reality is YOU ARE NOT THAT... not at the core.

The one thing that is us. is SOUL. We may not know its definitive origin. But we do know it exists. 

Our mind has evolved to be able to outwardly reflect and express SOUL.

the mind itself is not the enemy. the mind itself is not the problem. "crazy mind" our intellect is precious. our development to discern, act upon , and our choice is not the "crazy" 

The crazy is there cause we want it to be there. Just like I choose to paint this wall this color. Thats how easy it is to ask crazy to be part of your life. As easy as picking paint.

We make the crazy. we make the stress. we make the problem. Ultimately each and every single one of us is battling the greatest war of our time. TRUTH vs EGO. Do we allow our fears thoughts and desires to run our lives? Or do you we allow truth to come forth and allow something new to emerge? An event is an event. Most of the time its how WE THINK OF the event that riles us up. Not the ACTUAL EVENT.

So what does all this have to do with "simplicity"

Live Simply means CHOOSE WISELY.
Live Simply means THERE IS NO PROBLEM unless you want there to be.
Live Simply means YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THAT IS BEFORE YOU.

Living simply means you will see the cycle of chaos and creation as one thing and not something that will kill you and not something that will make you a billionaire. But knowing simplicity is living with Soul.

What-ever-it-is seems to be contagious or maybe epidemic or maybe part of a natural law or maybe all of it.

We're always searching for miracles.

I just read a story about a young boy... in Arizona... his mother lost control of their car.. they were camping. They were alone... A Spanish immigrant was trying to pass the border illegally when he came across the young boy in the road. The immigrant tried to free the mom... but she was pinned after crashing 300 feet into a canyon. The boy was unhurt. This immigrant built a bonfire... and gave the child his jacket as they passed a cold desert night together. The following day... they found help. The boy was airlifted to the hospital the immigrant into the hands of custom agents.

I believe this immigrants purpose was to be there.. and if he didn't care.. he would of kept walking.It was his choice. He knew the consequence... yet he stayed.

Angels are everywhere. Miracles are everywhere.

Just because they don't happen to be surrounded in some other worldly glow or pixie dust does not mean they do not happen.

We all want to be saved by something. by someone.

have we ever thought of saving ourselves from ourselves.

Being a hero to yourself?

If you care so much for someone else..and watch their well-being, care for their hearts and life.... do you care for your own?

You are a reflection of what you give. Unless you care more about "people perceiving you as a giver" rather than actually truly being a giver in and through out.
 
You are reflecting even that which may be negative coming at you.

Rather then bite back... perceive. Peer deeper into the negative. LOOK at your reflection. When you can pause and face into this... a peace comes over you... you don't bite... you don't immediately go for the jugular... going for that jugular you are going for your own throat.

Miracles... start with your own heart first.

Come hell or high water.. your spirit knows nothing of pain, suffering, anger, doubt or discomfort... all it cares for is now, this second, keep going, survive, love, be passioned.

Close your eyes... in the midst of chaos and feel that which is beating..regardless of whats happening outside... all it knows is to beat. and it beats.

When you clear your mind... of such idleness... you SEE MIRACLES everyday, every moment.

Watching young troubled humans grow into responsible adults wanting more of life...

Watching what once seemed a terrible diagnosis be a wake up call into becoming aware that you have a soul...

Watching those that are suffocating by their truths... see that if they placed that piece of the heavy oxygen tank in their mouth.... they won't drown in the deep waters of their emotions.

Watching people become aware.

THESE ARE MIRACLES because its a breaking free from old constructs. from old ways, from old memories... just memories that INVISIBLY BIND YOU.

You don't have to have them there if you don't want them there.

What greater miracle can you ask for... then being free from your own mind.

Could you imagine all that you would do
if you weren't afraid
if you weren't doubtful
if you weren't looking for the other shoe to drop.

imagine you fulfilled all your
WHAT IFS

no, I'm not asking you to be brash and jump into anything. I think you all know what I'm talking about. Just be smart about things.

Look, the mere fact that we have friends ever present and alive next to us is a miracle. Seconds and Inches folks... seconds and inches. As strong as we are as people... only takes seconds and inches for them to not be here.

Everyone wants a miracle.
Does everyone realize... you get them everyday?
DO YOU REALIZE YOU GET THEM EVERYDAY.

Some people just show up at the right time. why is that?
Some people say things at just the right time. why is that?
Miracles
Some people leave at the right time... yet, its hard for us to see it may be right.
Some people get illnesses at the right time... yet. its hard for us to see it may be right.

Miracles...

Everyone wants them.

So go out and create them!

what comes around goes around right?

SO MAKE A MIRACLE!

Its the giving season now right.
well, go for it!

To live courageously may make others nervous around you. But only for good reason.

Be willing to stand on your own. It just means you're fully aware to stand by something... that nothing outside of you could ever give you. Which is your own heart.

What inspired me to write this:
a shooting star streaking across the sky... on a full moon winters night.

that little piece of dust... hitting our atmosphere in god-like speeds... exploding into fire...only for seconds for one to see...

I just wanted the universe to know I did see the spec of dust. It did not go unnoticed nor does any human soul.

Love,
pieinthesky.

ps...
personally my ipod is a miracle!
hehe.

"Sometimes the only way we will ever know if we can fly is to just fall"

Surfing has been described as a sport, religion, obsession and way of life. For Shaun Tomson, world-champion surfer and successful entrepreneur, surfing is all that and more. In SURFER'S CODE, Tomson shares the life lessons he's gathered from many years of surfing - from his boyhood in apartheid South Africa to the world tour in the '70's and 80's. While the lessons Tomson shares in SURFER'S CODE are taken from the world's beaches, they translate powerfully to everyday life and extraordinary challenges. They reflect the attitude and outlook necessary to not just survive the ups and downs of life, but to master them and emerge a winner.

SURFER'S CODE: 12 SIMPLE LESSONS FOR RIDING THROUGH LIFE

1. I will never turn my back on the ocean
2. I will paddle around the impact zone
3. I will take the drop with commitment
4. I will never fight a rip tide
5. I will paddle back out
6. I will watch out for other surfers
7. There will always be another wave
8. I will always ride into shore
9. I will pass along my stoke
10. I will catch a wave every day
11. All surfers are joined by one ocean
12. I will honor the sport of kings


*******
Short video of former World Champ Shaun Tomson celebrating his 50th birthday in fine style this past August, riding perfect Jeffrey's Bay in a way most 30 year olds can only dream about.


http://www.surfline.com/video/video_player/video_player.cfm?id=2383&;mv=ncl

This mist it falls
obscuring the motions of creatures
lingering it swirls around the hooves
of a stead that carries Ronin.

Clouds they cover
drape the hooded Ronin
dark eyes that witness
the very first breath of the living.

Armored and heavy
coming upon a clearing
the hawks lets out their cries
the clouds they come; they follow.

sliding off the stead
whispering in its ear.
here we lay our heads
for the evening and tomorrow

Sitting upon the cliffs
hawks they come to Ronin
whisperings of the light
they fly off to tell the winds

In the middle of the clearing
knealt by thy sides of grass
Ronin lifts the helmet
to unveil her lives that past.

Glorious sun I know you shine
behind the clouds that follow
You know my home, you know my love
Me'onah,  Me'onah, Me'onah.

Shine down on me... briefly
I carry the cloud.
shine down on me...secretly
I carry the cloud.
Shine down on me... love me.
Because I carry the cloud.

The Clouds of Ronin
Gather.

There are moments in time light infuses with dark.
Just moments.

A love beyond love itself; intertwined.

For light and dark never touch
never occupy the same space.

But there are moments.
Just moments.

A love becomes one; to create

And with a great long sigh
once again they separate.

Such love; such fantastic love.